a considerable amount of work later

And I'm done. Holy goddamn ball-kicking Jesus, that took a long time. I've been chipping away at this goddamn Web site for a week now and it still took me, what, ten hours to finish it tonight? WITH Adderall?

Actually, that stuff is fucking fantastic. I had a 20mg tablet broken in half, and I consumed the two halves about three hours apart. I know why people say it's grades in a bottle, and I further know why people get addicted to it. I mean, forget all the physical symptoms of withdrawal, forget all that, and consider this:

It makes me feel cool, collected, and in control. Like there is absolutely nothing life can throw at me that I can't handle. I'm very calm and able to deal with any problems I encounter. I have absolute focus and can put 100% of my mental resources into any task.

Yeah. I know why this stuff gets people. But for the love of God, my best friend SCIENCE (got to think of a better fake name for him) was sitting next to me, in my room, smoking MY weed right there next to me, blowing smoke past my face and out the window...and I told him to put it out because he was distracting me. What in the fuck IS this stuff?

Anyway, as I said, nothing interesting happened besides that. I was wrong about one thing, though, interesting things will almost certainly happen on Thursday afternoon, well, this afternoon, technically. God, I need sleep. I guess, y'know, amphetamines'll do that to a person.

Hwoof. I can only get it through SCIENCE and I've specifically requested that he not get me any more for quite a while. I know I have an addictive personality, goddammit I'm addicted to fucking MARIJUANA. Not physically, but definitely psychologically hooked. And if since I shrugged it off for a day I feel less cravings to try it, I know I'll only need to look at it tomorrow afternoon, and ten minutes later I'll be blazing a path.

Eh. I know I'm weak, but I'm okay with it, at the moment. I don't do opiates, cocaine, meth, or anything that would seriously fuck over a weak-willed person such as myself, only weed, Adderall this one time, and I plan to try shrooms and ecstasy. Maybe acid. That's really about it.

Well, fuck in a basket. I need to get some sleep. It's 7:05 a.m. and I haven't slept in over 24 hours.

Hey, now that I think about it, I haven't smoked in 24 hours either. Isn't that nice? Of course, I can't crow about not dipping into my diminishing supply because my goddamn friend did that for me. He's a mooch, we both know it, but he gave me a night of absolute productivity tonight, so I'll begrudge him a bowl or two.

Actually, how I got it is kind of funny in and of itself. The price for the pill? I'd heard anywhere from $3 to $6 for a 10mg pill, and since I was getting 20mg, I was prepared to pay $12 or even $15 or $20. Prices are ridiculous in my town. This is part of the reason that I'm poor.

Instead, the price from the guy my friend knows? The price he demanded? A large pizza from Gumby's (a pizza chain extraordinarily popular among college students), which cost me like $7. So, y'know, fuckin' perfect.

I was noticing recently, again, how many doors smoking weed seems to have opened for me. How many people it's letting me meet and get to know better. For one thing, without weed to make me seem cool and edgy, there's no way I would have fucked that absurdly hot redhead chick about two weeks ago, but I did, so nyah. Turned out she was just a slut, but fuck, I'll take a victory where I can get it, especially where it concerns getting laid. I need every small victory I can get, there.

Anyway, I was talking in my fucking three-hour class I have on Wednesdays to a guy called, uh, 'Fro-B-Gone. (He had a big afro, then shaved himself almost bald.) I was heading to the student union with him during a break in the class so we could get dinner, and I asked him what he did for fun. You know, sort of getting to know him a little better; I'd barely spoken with the guy all semester.

Me: So what do you do for fun?
Him: Uh...play guitar, smoke weed, go swimming, um...
Me: Wait, hang on. That second thing you said...it intrigued me.
Him: *laughs*

Which then turned into a spirited conversation about weed and drug use in general.

I gotta say, they tell me drugs are bad, but apart from draining all of my money I can't see the harm yet. Of course, I've done only weed and Adderall, which are basically the Natural Light and Budweiser of drugs. Maybe I should snort a line or shoot up a bag and then make that statement again. If I'm able to, and not dead a month later from some damn thing.

Fuck it all. Weed never killed anyone and Adderall is occasionally useful as a pick-me-up and study aid. Wouldn't want to live in that state, though...no imagination, no real emotion, and I just know I'd overestimate my own abilities and get the shit kicked out of me for some reason.

Sleep time. Maybe.