Sorry about the lack of updates recently, to my, er, reader. But I've been crippled with agonizing abdominal pain for quite some time now, all week. It started getting really bad Thursday, hence the lack of updates. But last night, that all changed.
Last night, it got so bad I went to the ER, where I waited for five hours fifteen before I saw the doctor. The highlights of that experience included:
- Trying desperately to find a comfortable position on the crappy waiting room chairs, to no avail
- Enjoying watching someone light a cigarette directly under a "No Smoking" sign
- Watched The Boondocks on the in-room TV once I got a room, around 4:45 or so
- Figured out that the pain was not, in fact, stomach pain, but probably kidney or bladder-related. This isn't good news, but it at least tells me why my stomach-centric cure attempts haven't been working.
- Got a scrip for Percocets, and a free sample right there in the doctor's office.
The Percs are the important part. I only got 10, but that should be more than enough to last me until my appointment early next week. These things are...great. I don't feel the slightest hint of pain from the area that was killing me all week long. I also feel a bit giddy and fun, and silly. Not extremely, but...some.
I wonder how weed reacts with these things? Guess it's time to find out.
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
holy shit, what a fuckin' holiday that was
I weeded it up so God damn much yesterday. Let's sum up:
1. In the morning around 11:00 when I finally woke up, smoked a bowl or two
2. When Aragorn and his friend (gotta ask what he wants his fake name to be) showed up, smoked two bowls, then did the mighty deed of topping a small bowl with a thick layer of kief from my kief catcher. God damn almighty was that amazing. It was like fire and lightning inside my lungs...in a good way. It was like a party in my mouth and everyone was going Super Saiyan.
3. We went over to Aragorn's house, smoked a couple of joints and a bowl, then celebrated 4:20 p.m. on 4/20 in the proper fashion - each of us got a pipe or a bong and did simultaneous hits, tried to hold it for the whole minute. Only Aragorn came close. Then we rotated until we got too dizzy to continue.
4. As if all that wasn't enough, I snuck out during a lull in the Exalted game I promised my roommate Mr. Crazypants ('cause he's fuckin' loopy, but a good guy) I'd show up to and smoked a quick bowl in the forest near the student union. Now, there's not much forest to speak of near the student union, so I was barely concealed, and that ratcheted up my ol' pot paranoia, but it managed to work out. I had to abandon the last hit or two from the bowl and dump it out, though, after my stomach viciously complained and my paranoia got the best of me.
5. After the game, I went over to my friend's house, where we smoked two more bowls, and I again topped the second with a thick powdery layer of kief. Similar effect. Then I had some caffeine pills.
Then I spent a long time gradually falling asleep before I agreed (more or less with myself) to wake up early to study for the test I have in an hour and a half. I woke up reasonably early and prepared to do this, only to find two problems:
1. One of my jackass roommates clogged the toilet and won't admit to doing it. I know it wasn't me, because going number 1 and leaving a single square of TP in the bowl is not going to clog anything, yet those devils refuse to own up. Unless one of the creepy old guys that live in my apartment complex snuck in and took a massive dump in our toilet, it was clearly one of them, yet they all shy away from actually fucking fixing it. I've had to walk to a gas station just to take a shit in the last few hours. That fucking sucks. Doesn't strictly have anything to do with the test, but it sucks.
2. There is, apparently, nothing to study for for this test. He didn't assign any chapters from the book, didn't bother to put any of the notes online, and I'll basically have to guess my way through or read someone else's notes. Oh well, I'll just arrive early and devour someone else's notes who was actually there a good percentage of the time, as opposed to me. Woo.
On a sad note, I may not be able to get this camping trip off the ground, which is a terrible shame since I wanted to go camping so very badly. I'll have to talk to Kungfuman (who doesn't know kung fu but I met him in my kung fu film study class) and see if he's still interested, and if he knows anyone else who is, because otherwise I'm not going to be able to go. Which would make me very bitter, because I was looking forward to it.
Oh, well. At least I've been wandering in the woods like a jackass a lot recently. That's probably what I'll do all Thursday and Friday, if I don't go home with SCIENCE like I might. Can't really say, just yet. I feel like I should go see my parents, yet there's never enough time to, and Aragorn promised to take me to his hometown that weekend so I could pick up a quarter pound of mids (yes, mids, but still) for $220. That is not fucking bad in the slightest. Yeah, even I can't smoke four ounces, especially with stems and seeds in, but I don't know, I might be able to work something out here. Especially with cooking, yes, cooking will be prodigious.
1. In the morning around 11:00 when I finally woke up, smoked a bowl or two
2. When Aragorn and his friend (gotta ask what he wants his fake name to be) showed up, smoked two bowls, then did the mighty deed of topping a small bowl with a thick layer of kief from my kief catcher. God damn almighty was that amazing. It was like fire and lightning inside my lungs...in a good way. It was like a party in my mouth and everyone was going Super Saiyan.
3. We went over to Aragorn's house, smoked a couple of joints and a bowl, then celebrated 4:20 p.m. on 4/20 in the proper fashion - each of us got a pipe or a bong and did simultaneous hits, tried to hold it for the whole minute. Only Aragorn came close. Then we rotated until we got too dizzy to continue.
4. As if all that wasn't enough, I snuck out during a lull in the Exalted game I promised my roommate Mr. Crazypants ('cause he's fuckin' loopy, but a good guy) I'd show up to and smoked a quick bowl in the forest near the student union. Now, there's not much forest to speak of near the student union, so I was barely concealed, and that ratcheted up my ol' pot paranoia, but it managed to work out. I had to abandon the last hit or two from the bowl and dump it out, though, after my stomach viciously complained and my paranoia got the best of me.
5. After the game, I went over to my friend's house, where we smoked two more bowls, and I again topped the second with a thick powdery layer of kief. Similar effect. Then I had some caffeine pills.
Then I spent a long time gradually falling asleep before I agreed (more or less with myself) to wake up early to study for the test I have in an hour and a half. I woke up reasonably early and prepared to do this, only to find two problems:
1. One of my jackass roommates clogged the toilet and won't admit to doing it. I know it wasn't me, because going number 1 and leaving a single square of TP in the bowl is not going to clog anything, yet those devils refuse to own up. Unless one of the creepy old guys that live in my apartment complex snuck in and took a massive dump in our toilet, it was clearly one of them, yet they all shy away from actually fucking fixing it. I've had to walk to a gas station just to take a shit in the last few hours. That fucking sucks. Doesn't strictly have anything to do with the test, but it sucks.
2. There is, apparently, nothing to study for for this test. He didn't assign any chapters from the book, didn't bother to put any of the notes online, and I'll basically have to guess my way through or read someone else's notes. Oh well, I'll just arrive early and devour someone else's notes who was actually there a good percentage of the time, as opposed to me. Woo.
On a sad note, I may not be able to get this camping trip off the ground, which is a terrible shame since I wanted to go camping so very badly. I'll have to talk to Kungfuman (who doesn't know kung fu but I met him in my kung fu film study class) and see if he's still interested, and if he knows anyone else who is, because otherwise I'm not going to be able to go. Which would make me very bitter, because I was looking forward to it.
Oh, well. At least I've been wandering in the woods like a jackass a lot recently. That's probably what I'll do all Thursday and Friday, if I don't go home with SCIENCE like I might. Can't really say, just yet. I feel like I should go see my parents, yet there's never enough time to, and Aragorn promised to take me to his hometown that weekend so I could pick up a quarter pound of mids (yes, mids, but still) for $220. That is not fucking bad in the slightest. Yeah, even I can't smoke four ounces, especially with stems and seeds in, but I don't know, I might be able to work something out here. Especially with cooking, yes, cooking will be prodigious.
Monday, April 20, 2009
travels in the woods
Yesterday, there really wasn't much to talk about. I spent more or less the whole day slouching about in the woods near Bigmofo's house (it's a nature preserve, very nice stuff) and didn't really accomplish anything. Which is annoying, because I had planned to study for my test tomorrow and do my laundry, but I ran out of energy and fell asleep in my chair. This is probably a combination of the fact that weed fatigues me and walking around in the hot sun all day knocks me the fuck out, so, yeah.
I'll have to get both of those done today, which is going to be a little tricky seeing as it's 4/20, that greatest of days. In fact, I've been up for nearly a full hour and I'm not high yet - I'm disgracing the holiday.
One of the things I did yesterday was encounter a kid in the woods. I say kid because he was 17, and I'm nearly 21, so I tend to think of anyone younger than 18 as a kid. After much conversation, he told me that he knew some people who were willing to buy pot from me at reasonably high prices, telling me that high schoolers pay a lot more for weed than college kids would. Which is probably true.
At the time, I thought this was the greatest thing ever, but I was pretty high and didn't realize all the implications. After talking with Bigmofo (who is, as you may recall, a dealer) and my sister (who lived for a decade on the streets, prostituting herself and shooting heroin and generally getting involved in all kinds of bad situations), they both convinced me that I should stay the fuck away from high schoolers. Way worse legal trouble if I get caught, and the potential to get my ass kicked and have lots of money or weed stolen from me.
Fuck. Being a dealer, to hear Bigmofo describe it, is ridiculously profitable but considerably dangerous. He told me about three friends of his - one who got held up at gunpoint, one who had $4,000 stolen from his house, and one who was "set up" and is now spending 20 years in prison. I'm wondering if it's worth it or if I should just stick with my original strategy of submitting myself to medical experimentation and selling my blood plasma like I usually do.
I don't know. It's all pretty complicated. At the end of the day, I need money, and I really, really, REALLY do not want to have to take a regular near-minimum-wage job to deal with it. I'll take out student loans if I have to, I just really, seriously do not want to deal with another GameStop job. I worked at GameStop on and off for four years.
I would not recommend this to anyone. Not that GameStop is that bad an employer - though they have their moments - but working for minimum wage, or close to it, basically working retail at all is beneath my dignity as a fucking human being. I don't pretend that I'm better than people who work retail, I just believe that I've done my time in retail hell and no more for me.
Hmm. I reread that and it still comes off as arrogant. Oh well, fuck it, it's what I believe. I'm sick of moderating myself so that people don't cry and get offended.
Gonna weed it up today, and keeping a couple of 6-Hour Powers around to help stave off fatigue. I tried these 6-Hour Powers because it's basically spitting in the eye of 5-Hour Energy, and I want to know if they have the oomph to back up their boldness.
I'll have to get both of those done today, which is going to be a little tricky seeing as it's 4/20, that greatest of days. In fact, I've been up for nearly a full hour and I'm not high yet - I'm disgracing the holiday.
One of the things I did yesterday was encounter a kid in the woods. I say kid because he was 17, and I'm nearly 21, so I tend to think of anyone younger than 18 as a kid. After much conversation, he told me that he knew some people who were willing to buy pot from me at reasonably high prices, telling me that high schoolers pay a lot more for weed than college kids would. Which is probably true.
At the time, I thought this was the greatest thing ever, but I was pretty high and didn't realize all the implications. After talking with Bigmofo (who is, as you may recall, a dealer) and my sister (who lived for a decade on the streets, prostituting herself and shooting heroin and generally getting involved in all kinds of bad situations), they both convinced me that I should stay the fuck away from high schoolers. Way worse legal trouble if I get caught, and the potential to get my ass kicked and have lots of money or weed stolen from me.
Fuck. Being a dealer, to hear Bigmofo describe it, is ridiculously profitable but considerably dangerous. He told me about three friends of his - one who got held up at gunpoint, one who had $4,000 stolen from his house, and one who was "set up" and is now spending 20 years in prison. I'm wondering if it's worth it or if I should just stick with my original strategy of submitting myself to medical experimentation and selling my blood plasma like I usually do.
I don't know. It's all pretty complicated. At the end of the day, I need money, and I really, really, REALLY do not want to have to take a regular near-minimum-wage job to deal with it. I'll take out student loans if I have to, I just really, seriously do not want to deal with another GameStop job. I worked at GameStop on and off for four years.
I would not recommend this to anyone. Not that GameStop is that bad an employer - though they have their moments - but working for minimum wage, or close to it, basically working retail at all is beneath my dignity as a fucking human being. I don't pretend that I'm better than people who work retail, I just believe that I've done my time in retail hell and no more for me.
Hmm. I reread that and it still comes off as arrogant. Oh well, fuck it, it's what I believe. I'm sick of moderating myself so that people don't cry and get offended.
Gonna weed it up today, and keeping a couple of 6-Hour Powers around to help stave off fatigue. I tried these 6-Hour Powers because it's basically spitting in the eye of 5-Hour Energy, and I want to know if they have the oomph to back up their boldness.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
memory damage? what memory damage? i feel fine
So, really, only two noteworthy things happened since last I posted.
1. I went into the woods with SCIENCE and we took an alternate path I'd never seen before, that led to a log protruding over a river, with millions of plants growing all over it. I decided to cross it, and did so, very haltingly and with much grabbing of the scenery to stabilize myself.
I decided that I was being a pussy and confidence would let me stride right across it, so on the way back, I tried striding. Turns out, I was wrong, and I fell off the log. Now, this river wasn't the Mississippi, but that was part of the problem - it was deep enough to get me soaked, but shallow enough that if I fell in, it'd be just like hitting solid ground. And I was a good seven or eight feet up.
Fortunately, I managed to catch myself on a bunch of underbrush and secondary logs. I landed with my shoulder blades sort of pressed up against a thick branch and my foot braced against another log, with a million branches beneath me. About two feet above the river.
It was fun, and kind of scary. I thought for sure I'd break my neck, or at least get drenched. I managed to get away with only the tip of my shoe and the back cuff on my jeans leg getting wet, so that was pretty neat. SCIENCE said it looked like I had been caught by the forest, which is a nice image.
2. Today I was over at Bigmofo's house and a friend of his apparently had his car break, so he came in and asked if we could help push his car into his driveway. We all volunteered, because it sounded fun. It was.
It started with one, then two, then finally six people pushing on this car. I decided that since we had so much power, we should use it, so I called out "RUN!!" and started running. Everyone else thought this was a great idea (most of us had had some nice bong rips and shots of Jack Daniels, including me) and sped up.
The guy who was steering called it "The Buick Olympics." I saw a big bump up ahead and said "We're gonna launch this fucker." Someone else yelled "RAMMING SPEED!" Oh, it was entertainment. We were full-on sprinting and pushing this car down the road, it was quite the image, six drunken/stoned assholes bull-rushing a car down a remote residential road.
We left off after the bump and the guy managed to coast thirty-odd yards down the road and up his driveway from the momentum.
Fun times.
1. I went into the woods with SCIENCE and we took an alternate path I'd never seen before, that led to a log protruding over a river, with millions of plants growing all over it. I decided to cross it, and did so, very haltingly and with much grabbing of the scenery to stabilize myself.
I decided that I was being a pussy and confidence would let me stride right across it, so on the way back, I tried striding. Turns out, I was wrong, and I fell off the log. Now, this river wasn't the Mississippi, but that was part of the problem - it was deep enough to get me soaked, but shallow enough that if I fell in, it'd be just like hitting solid ground. And I was a good seven or eight feet up.
Fortunately, I managed to catch myself on a bunch of underbrush and secondary logs. I landed with my shoulder blades sort of pressed up against a thick branch and my foot braced against another log, with a million branches beneath me. About two feet above the river.
It was fun, and kind of scary. I thought for sure I'd break my neck, or at least get drenched. I managed to get away with only the tip of my shoe and the back cuff on my jeans leg getting wet, so that was pretty neat. SCIENCE said it looked like I had been caught by the forest, which is a nice image.
2. Today I was over at Bigmofo's house and a friend of his apparently had his car break, so he came in and asked if we could help push his car into his driveway. We all volunteered, because it sounded fun. It was.
It started with one, then two, then finally six people pushing on this car. I decided that since we had so much power, we should use it, so I called out "RUN!!" and started running. Everyone else thought this was a great idea (most of us had had some nice bong rips and shots of Jack Daniels, including me) and sped up.
The guy who was steering called it "The Buick Olympics." I saw a big bump up ahead and said "We're gonna launch this fucker." Someone else yelled "RAMMING SPEED!" Oh, it was entertainment. We were full-on sprinting and pushing this car down the road, it was quite the image, six drunken/stoned assholes bull-rushing a car down a remote residential road.
We left off after the bump and the guy managed to coast thirty-odd yards down the road and up his driveway from the momentum.
Fun times.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
the little joys that life can bring me
As I said, I finally finished that God damned website. It's actually pretty good, to be honest (and egomaniacal, but whatever), and I know I put a shitload of work into it. It's not actually that impressive, but given my limited skill...eh, I'm sick of blowing my own trumpet for now.
What a gay expression that sounds like.
Anyway, I slept for about three hours and discovered, with forty minutes remaining before the deadline, that my CD drive was apparently broken beyond immediate repair. I sweated, but my flash drive was an acceptable backup. If I had put in all that fucking work and gotten marked off for it being late because they wouldn't accept a fucking flash drive, I would...well, I'd be extremely upset.
So that was that. Met up with Jamie after the class I turned in my website to (there's a test on Tuesday, gonna have to study for it on Sunday on account of Monday is a holiday to me), he was pretty impressed that I didn't have any signs of withdrawal like nausea or fatigue. I'm a little tired now, but that's because I stayed up all shitting night building this Web site.
I gotta admit, though, I'm proud of my little, stupid creation. I put a lot of work into it. One of the reasons I was super-depressed about three weeks ago was that I realized I never create anything or accomplish anything anymore. I didn't even write in my last blog anymore, but fuck it, because it's a PG-rated sack of bullshit that I was sick of censoring.
But I really did create this site, and I'm probably going to get a good grade on it. All the code validates and works, no problems like misspelled links or broken pictures, it works in Firefox, IE and Safari...I feel like I've accomplished something, which is better than the mindless bullshit I usually churn out for classes. (English-department classes, mainly.)
That's not the little joy, though. The little joy was enduring all of that and then going pretty stoned to class, Martial Arts Cinema, which sounds entertaining until you realize it's just neck-deep film-study bullshit. The first little joy was moving from our normal classroom, in which the AC is constantly broken, into a regular, air-conditioned classroom like civilized people.
The second was that we don't have to give presentations on our final papers, as I thought we would have to a week before they were due (said so in the syllabus, the teacher changed her mind). Fuck yeah, dude.
Spent most of class with my friend Robocop (he chose the name, I asked him what fake name he wanted), who was sitting behind me as I typed on my laptop. Mostly it was just MST3k-style comments about the shitty movies we were watching, which apparently I'm pretty good at even when I'm high. When I get high again, I'm going to look back over all those comments I wrote and try and remember their context. Or invent new.
Anyway. I'm at SCIENCE's house, and he's battling a really bad headache and trying to realize exactly why he bought the sushi that he's eating.
Gotta save up my resin and kief and best weed for Monday, man. The very first 4/20 I'll ever properly celebrate.
Fun times.
What a gay expression that sounds like.
Anyway, I slept for about three hours and discovered, with forty minutes remaining before the deadline, that my CD drive was apparently broken beyond immediate repair. I sweated, but my flash drive was an acceptable backup. If I had put in all that fucking work and gotten marked off for it being late because they wouldn't accept a fucking flash drive, I would...well, I'd be extremely upset.
So that was that. Met up with Jamie after the class I turned in my website to (there's a test on Tuesday, gonna have to study for it on Sunday on account of Monday is a holiday to me), he was pretty impressed that I didn't have any signs of withdrawal like nausea or fatigue. I'm a little tired now, but that's because I stayed up all shitting night building this Web site.
I gotta admit, though, I'm proud of my little, stupid creation. I put a lot of work into it. One of the reasons I was super-depressed about three weeks ago was that I realized I never create anything or accomplish anything anymore. I didn't even write in my last blog anymore, but fuck it, because it's a PG-rated sack of bullshit that I was sick of censoring.
But I really did create this site, and I'm probably going to get a good grade on it. All the code validates and works, no problems like misspelled links or broken pictures, it works in Firefox, IE and Safari...I feel like I've accomplished something, which is better than the mindless bullshit I usually churn out for classes. (English-department classes, mainly.)
That's not the little joy, though. The little joy was enduring all of that and then going pretty stoned to class, Martial Arts Cinema, which sounds entertaining until you realize it's just neck-deep film-study bullshit. The first little joy was moving from our normal classroom, in which the AC is constantly broken, into a regular, air-conditioned classroom like civilized people.
The second was that we don't have to give presentations on our final papers, as I thought we would have to a week before they were due (said so in the syllabus, the teacher changed her mind). Fuck yeah, dude.
Spent most of class with my friend Robocop (he chose the name, I asked him what fake name he wanted), who was sitting behind me as I typed on my laptop. Mostly it was just MST3k-style comments about the shitty movies we were watching, which apparently I'm pretty good at even when I'm high. When I get high again, I'm going to look back over all those comments I wrote and try and remember their context. Or invent new.
Anyway. I'm at SCIENCE's house, and he's battling a really bad headache and trying to realize exactly why he bought the sushi that he's eating.
Gotta save up my resin and kief and best weed for Monday, man. The very first 4/20 I'll ever properly celebrate.
Fun times.
a considerable amount of work later
And I'm done. Holy goddamn ball-kicking Jesus, that took a long time. I've been chipping away at this goddamn Web site for a week now and it still took me, what, ten hours to finish it tonight? WITH Adderall?
Actually, that stuff is fucking fantastic. I had a 20mg tablet broken in half, and I consumed the two halves about three hours apart. I know why people say it's grades in a bottle, and I further know why people get addicted to it. I mean, forget all the physical symptoms of withdrawal, forget all that, and consider this:
It makes me feel cool, collected, and in control. Like there is absolutely nothing life can throw at me that I can't handle. I'm very calm and able to deal with any problems I encounter. I have absolute focus and can put 100% of my mental resources into any task.
Yeah. I know why this stuff gets people. But for the love of God, my best friend SCIENCE (got to think of a better fake name for him) was sitting next to me, in my room, smoking MY weed right there next to me, blowing smoke past my face and out the window...and I told him to put it out because he was distracting me. What in the fuck IS this stuff?
Anyway, as I said, nothing interesting happened besides that. I was wrong about one thing, though, interesting things will almost certainly happen on Thursday afternoon, well, this afternoon, technically. God, I need sleep. I guess, y'know, amphetamines'll do that to a person.
Hwoof. I can only get it through SCIENCE and I've specifically requested that he not get me any more for quite a while. I know I have an addictive personality, goddammit I'm addicted to fucking MARIJUANA. Not physically, but definitely psychologically hooked. And if since I shrugged it off for a day I feel less cravings to try it, I know I'll only need to look at it tomorrow afternoon, and ten minutes later I'll be blazing a path.
Eh. I know I'm weak, but I'm okay with it, at the moment. I don't do opiates, cocaine, meth, or anything that would seriously fuck over a weak-willed person such as myself, only weed, Adderall this one time, and I plan to try shrooms and ecstasy. Maybe acid. That's really about it.
Well, fuck in a basket. I need to get some sleep. It's 7:05 a.m. and I haven't slept in over 24 hours.
Hey, now that I think about it, I haven't smoked in 24 hours either. Isn't that nice? Of course, I can't crow about not dipping into my diminishing supply because my goddamn friend did that for me. He's a mooch, we both know it, but he gave me a night of absolute productivity tonight, so I'll begrudge him a bowl or two.
Actually, how I got it is kind of funny in and of itself. The price for the pill? I'd heard anywhere from $3 to $6 for a 10mg pill, and since I was getting 20mg, I was prepared to pay $12 or even $15 or $20. Prices are ridiculous in my town. This is part of the reason that I'm poor.
Instead, the price from the guy my friend knows? The price he demanded? A large pizza from Gumby's (a pizza chain extraordinarily popular among college students), which cost me like $7. So, y'know, fuckin' perfect.
I was noticing recently, again, how many doors smoking weed seems to have opened for me. How many people it's letting me meet and get to know better. For one thing, without weed to make me seem cool and edgy, there's no way I would have fucked that absurdly hot redhead chick about two weeks ago, but I did, so nyah. Turned out she was just a slut, but fuck, I'll take a victory where I can get it, especially where it concerns getting laid. I need every small victory I can get, there.
Anyway, I was talking in my fucking three-hour class I have on Wednesdays to a guy called, uh, 'Fro-B-Gone. (He had a big afro, then shaved himself almost bald.) I was heading to the student union with him during a break in the class so we could get dinner, and I asked him what he did for fun. You know, sort of getting to know him a little better; I'd barely spoken with the guy all semester.
Me: So what do you do for fun?
Him: Uh...play guitar, smoke weed, go swimming, um...
Me: Wait, hang on. That second thing you said...it intrigued me.
Him: *laughs*
Which then turned into a spirited conversation about weed and drug use in general.
I gotta say, they tell me drugs are bad, but apart from draining all of my money I can't see the harm yet. Of course, I've done only weed and Adderall, which are basically the Natural Light and Budweiser of drugs. Maybe I should snort a line or shoot up a bag and then make that statement again. If I'm able to, and not dead a month later from some damn thing.
Fuck it all. Weed never killed anyone and Adderall is occasionally useful as a pick-me-up and study aid. Wouldn't want to live in that state, though...no imagination, no real emotion, and I just know I'd overestimate my own abilities and get the shit kicked out of me for some reason.
Sleep time. Maybe.
Actually, that stuff is fucking fantastic. I had a 20mg tablet broken in half, and I consumed the two halves about three hours apart. I know why people say it's grades in a bottle, and I further know why people get addicted to it. I mean, forget all the physical symptoms of withdrawal, forget all that, and consider this:
It makes me feel cool, collected, and in control. Like there is absolutely nothing life can throw at me that I can't handle. I'm very calm and able to deal with any problems I encounter. I have absolute focus and can put 100% of my mental resources into any task.
Yeah. I know why this stuff gets people. But for the love of God, my best friend SCIENCE (got to think of a better fake name for him) was sitting next to me, in my room, smoking MY weed right there next to me, blowing smoke past my face and out the window...and I told him to put it out because he was distracting me. What in the fuck IS this stuff?
Anyway, as I said, nothing interesting happened besides that. I was wrong about one thing, though, interesting things will almost certainly happen on Thursday afternoon, well, this afternoon, technically. God, I need sleep. I guess, y'know, amphetamines'll do that to a person.
Hwoof. I can only get it through SCIENCE and I've specifically requested that he not get me any more for quite a while. I know I have an addictive personality, goddammit I'm addicted to fucking MARIJUANA. Not physically, but definitely psychologically hooked. And if since I shrugged it off for a day I feel less cravings to try it, I know I'll only need to look at it tomorrow afternoon, and ten minutes later I'll be blazing a path.
Eh. I know I'm weak, but I'm okay with it, at the moment. I don't do opiates, cocaine, meth, or anything that would seriously fuck over a weak-willed person such as myself, only weed, Adderall this one time, and I plan to try shrooms and ecstasy. Maybe acid. That's really about it.
Well, fuck in a basket. I need to get some sleep. It's 7:05 a.m. and I haven't slept in over 24 hours.
Hey, now that I think about it, I haven't smoked in 24 hours either. Isn't that nice? Of course, I can't crow about not dipping into my diminishing supply because my goddamn friend did that for me. He's a mooch, we both know it, but he gave me a night of absolute productivity tonight, so I'll begrudge him a bowl or two.
Actually, how I got it is kind of funny in and of itself. The price for the pill? I'd heard anywhere from $3 to $6 for a 10mg pill, and since I was getting 20mg, I was prepared to pay $12 or even $15 or $20. Prices are ridiculous in my town. This is part of the reason that I'm poor.
Instead, the price from the guy my friend knows? The price he demanded? A large pizza from Gumby's (a pizza chain extraordinarily popular among college students), which cost me like $7. So, y'know, fuckin' perfect.
I was noticing recently, again, how many doors smoking weed seems to have opened for me. How many people it's letting me meet and get to know better. For one thing, without weed to make me seem cool and edgy, there's no way I would have fucked that absurdly hot redhead chick about two weeks ago, but I did, so nyah. Turned out she was just a slut, but fuck, I'll take a victory where I can get it, especially where it concerns getting laid. I need every small victory I can get, there.
Anyway, I was talking in my fucking three-hour class I have on Wednesdays to a guy called, uh, 'Fro-B-Gone. (He had a big afro, then shaved himself almost bald.) I was heading to the student union with him during a break in the class so we could get dinner, and I asked him what he did for fun. You know, sort of getting to know him a little better; I'd barely spoken with the guy all semester.
Me: So what do you do for fun?
Him: Uh...play guitar, smoke weed, go swimming, um...
Me: Wait, hang on. That second thing you said...it intrigued me.
Him: *laughs*
Which then turned into a spirited conversation about weed and drug use in general.
I gotta say, they tell me drugs are bad, but apart from draining all of my money I can't see the harm yet. Of course, I've done only weed and Adderall, which are basically the Natural Light and Budweiser of drugs. Maybe I should snort a line or shoot up a bag and then make that statement again. If I'm able to, and not dead a month later from some damn thing.
Fuck it all. Weed never killed anyone and Adderall is occasionally useful as a pick-me-up and study aid. Wouldn't want to live in that state, though...no imagination, no real emotion, and I just know I'd overestimate my own abilities and get the shit kicked out of me for some reason.
Sleep time. Maybe.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
this stuff really is grades in a bottle
Just took an Adderall, and...wow. They weren't kidding about this crap.
Busy now...got work to do.
Busy now...got work to do.
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